Just smile...

Those who have children know how unpredictable they can be. I have witnessed many meltdowns or tantrums in public and I am always quick to smile at the Mom and pass on the, "We've all been there." I am never bothered by a kid crying, or poking me and I have never thought twice when I see a parent holding a screaming child in a death grip in one arm while they try to buy their milk as quickly as possible and get out of there! Kevin and I struggled with worrying about what other people thought when Braelyn was still a toddler. We were involved in a committee that required both of us to be at lengthy meetings and we had to bring our child in tow. At the same time Kevin was also in a role in which he was often at Sunday sacrament meetings, sitting in the stand, and due to my work schedule he had Braelyn with him. We were always trying to keep her quiet, or telling her to stop bothering people, and apologizing for her until one day, the 1st counselor in the stake presidency told us to stop worrying about her. He said rather harshly that she was just fine and that she wasn't bothering anyone and we didn't need to fuss about it so much. He then kindly explained that when children are being children people don't care. And if someone does care, then we should remember that those kind of people don't matter, and their opinions shouldn't matter to us. He taught me such an important lesson that day, and I still have to remind myself that the way my children think I view them, and love them, is so much more important than what some stranger thinks of my parenting skills for a split second.

That being said my children hate the grocery store and it is often a struggle to get in, get done, and get out! They usually fuss whine then dump the candy I try to bribe them with on the ground, and I am usually sweating and muttering under my breath by the time we get to the car. So I was pleasantly surprised when Kevin offered to take both girls to get groceries one Saturday morning. I was thrilled! I didn't have to think of what to get for dinner, and I got to eat my cereal in bed while I watched E! uninterrupted. I love when I see daddys with kids at the store by themselves. I either think he is a great husband for giving his wife a break, or that he is a great dad who is doing what he has to do for his kids by himself. Apparently not everyone thinks this way, and feels they need to offer their opinion. Kevin was having a rough time keeping Braelyn wrangled in (not an uncommon thing for her, I think it is the lighting in Wal-mart, it makes kids crazy) and a lady shopper stopped them and told Braelyn she needed to learn some manners. Now I have to wonder, did she not have kids? Were her kids always perfect? And most importantly what did she think she was offering that morning to a dad who was trying his best, and a child who was obviously bothered by something? Did she go home and feel satisfied that she saved an unruly child from a life doomed to juvenile detention? Did she tell her friends that she showed a father who was so flawed in his parenting the way to be a perfect parent? Was her offering opinion her good deed to humanity that day? I can't speak for her, but I can attest to the fact that she caused an already frustrated dad to be more stressed and critical towards his child's behavior and his own parenting. She embarrassed a 3 year old, who didn't understand enough how rude and obnoxious the comment was, but who did understand enough that someone was being critical of her and telling her that she wasn't good enough in her eyes. And I can tell you that she should now look over her shoulder for the furious momma who is hoping I run into her in a dark alley so that I can give her the piece of mind and maybe my fist, for thinking she can speak to my family that way.

Now on the opposite side, I was again at the dreaded Wal-mart, picking up medication and Clorox wipes after feeling like walking death for 3 days, and with 2 kids who were hungry and ready for naps. I kept running into a man in the different aisles, and kept apologizing when the girls would dart in front of his cart or jump out from the paper towels next to him. About the 3rd time we saw him, he was standing in the cleaners aisle hollering that is shouldn't be so hard to find Lysol. I pointed him in the right direction and he thanked me profusely for helping him. We finished the rest of our shopping and ended up right behind this same man in the checkout line. He saw us and said, "Oh no, not you again." I told him he couldn't get away from us, and then we joked because we had both gotten toilet paper, Lysol, Clorox wipes and Lunchables which was a strange coincidence. I had picked up Lunchables that day because I was exhausted and needed something easy to fix, easy to feed themselves and easy to clean-up. Braelyn had enjoyed looking at all the different kinds and we had spent about 5 minutes deliberating before she picked the kind with a chocolate pudding while Berkley and I had gotten Skittles. She had then held onto her Lunchable the entire time and insisted on being the one to put it onto the checkout belt. As I watched this man pay for his purchases I realized we were short one pudding Lunchable. I told Braelyn she needed to put hers up there, and she told me she already had. I had the panic moment of a mother who can see the future in a second, when I pictured my afternoon ruined because we would have no pudding when we got home and 3-year olds do not forget! I was mortified as I stopped him and the cashier and explained what she had done and tried to explain why it was that I couldn't go home without it, and how difficult it would be to get back for another one. He quickly found the Lunchable in question but he already paid for everything, so I told him I would pay him for that one even though I knew I didn't have any cash in my wallet and would be lucky if I had enough dimes to cover the total. He told me quickly not to worry about it, that he would take care of it. Both he and the cashier were quick to show understanding about how difficult it is to handle a child who doesn't have what she expects. He told me he had no problem paying for that for us, and that I just had to promise to have a good day if he did. Anyone witnessing the exchange would have probably saw something insignificant in me worrying about having that exact Lunchable, or in him covering a few dollars, but to me his willingness to be kind in a moment that was a big deal to us meant more than anyone would know. To me it meant that a stranger saw me as a person, someone who was worth more than a few dollars to him. It showed Braelyn that even if she makes a mistake that someone will be there to hep her, without judgement or embarrassing scolding. It taught me to be quicker to offer a helping hand when I see someone with a need and more understanding of where they may be coming from. I will probably never see this man again but I will especially remember his kindness going into this season of giving. What a difference a person and a fleeting moment can make. I think I will take more time to realize the effect I can have on those around me. And next time you see me dragging a screaming child through the grocery store, you can just smile and think, "We've all been there."

November 7th

Another year has passed and I can't believe we have celebrated our 6th anniversary! Things sure do move quick when you are having fun. Or maybe when you are going crazy...

I started the morning off early with my friends Dusty and Teresa at the Attic Sale. This is like a garage sale on steroids, people all over the community donate their items and they organize it by category. There was a huge line by the time we got there at 7:00 and I guess people started lining up at 4:30! After you get into the building, it is just a mad dash to lay claim on anything you think might be of value. You don't have a second to consider anything because if you do, someone reaches around you and snatches it. I stopped to get a brand-new umbrella stroller, then pushed my way to the little girl toys. A lady was looking at an adorable canopy baby doll bed. I told her it was cute and that if she didn't want it, I would gladly take it. She told me there was another one, so I grabbed it and hoped she would put her's down so I could have one for each girl. She didn't, but I did find a few more toys and dress-ups I knew the girls would love. My arms were totally full by then and I still had the rest of the building to check out. It was so crowded you could hardly move an inch, and I couldn't set anything down to look at anything else. My arms went numb so I slowly pushed my out and waited for the others to come out. I saw women who would go through, hand armfuls of stuff to husbands waiting in the parking lot, and go run through again. It was an entertaining morning, and by the time we hit a few more yard sales and a flea market I was pretty much finished with my Christmas shopping!

For lunch Kevin had taken the girls shopping and put together a picnic lunch for us. We went to Magnolia State Park, about 30 mins north of us. It is a camping area that has playgrounds, trees, nature trails and alligators! The drive was beautiful, the cotton fields here in Georgia are white and stretch all over the hillsides, and we even saw some herds of cattle grazing. We quickly unpacked and settled in to eat. Berkley loved the bottles of root beer he brought, and only dropped and broke one. They have a large river there, and a wooden observation bridge and deck and there are supposed to be alligators all over. I was terrified, but to my relief (and Kevin's dismay) we seemed to have missed the gator season, and only saw hundreds of turtles. I didn't think the girls would enjoy hiking on the nature trail, but both of them loved it. Berkley would stop every couple of minutes to wander off the trail and check out a flower, or fallen stick. Braelyn ran ahead then would run back and tell us all what we were about to see. And since there were no hills it was my kind of hike as well. It was a beautiful day, and I loved that I didn't have to worry about anything, or get anything ready, Kevin took care of it all.

We headed home to get ready for our dinner date! I was so excited, Teresa had offered to babysit, and I couldn't wait to just enjoy a quiet dinner with Kevin. The girls and I have been to their house and Braelyn and Berkley love it there. Braelyn picked out her outfit herself, then asked me which shoes I thought the boys would like her to wear! The Hughes have 4 boys and she is already worried about impressing them. We got Braelyn to take a picture of us before we left, and we laughed so hard when she started directing how we should stand and smile. We went to Chilis and the food was terrible but we had a great time laughing and actually being able to talk uninterrupted. When we got to the Hughes' front door to get the girls we could hear the music blasting, and knew Braelyn had chosen the song when we recognized, "Who Let the Dogs Out!" Braelyn was wrestling the boys, and Berkley didn't even care when we walked in, she was having too much fun to notice. I'm grateful they helped us, and even more grateful to know there is a place here that my girls feel loved and safe at.

It was a perfect day, and I'm thankful to everyone, especcially Kevin, who made it that way!

Krackleberry Farm

For playgroup we headed out to a pumpkin patch and kiddie farm in rural Georgia. We loaded up the Van Sant girls in our van and the girls had a blast giggling in the backseat on the way there. Gracie and Braelyn seem to be 2 peas in a pod and we can't believe how similar they are, they have a lot playing with one another, and their friend Brandon is always happy to be along for the ride. I was expecting a little garden and maybe some goats and such but we were blown away with all there was to do as soon as we got there. The kids started by jumping on the "worlds largest pillow." This thing was huge and it was so funny just seeing the kids try and crawl there way on and after a minute even us Moms wanted to try and we were all bouncing and sliding all over.

Once we needed to catch our breath, we stopped at the duck trough. They had water pumps and you set up a little rubber duckie and raced everyone as you tried to pump as fast as you can. Braelyn loved this, and Berkley loved trying to drink the murky water from the basin.

After that we gathered around the real race track to watch a pig race. This was so funny, they had the pigs painted with a different color stripe so you all picked one and cheered for your favorite. There was a group of older special needs children watching with us, and they were so excited and loved to cheer so loud, it made for a very exciting race.

We went to visit more animals next at the petting zoo. I had never seen such clean lambs and goats but the farmer claimed he didn't bathe them everyday. He let Braelyn feed the lambs their bottle, then he showed them the baby chicks and let them feel their soft feathers. Then we fed the goats some treats and Braelyn is getting more brave because she didn't even flinch as they ate the feed right from her hand. She was only worried that each of the goats and lambs got a turn and got enough to eat. Berkley enjoyed following the farm cat around, but did not like the noise all the other animals were making.

After we washed up we went to drive the pedal tractors around the track. It was a twisty dirt track and these carts were bigger than I thought the kids could handle but Braelyn got on and pedaled as hard as she could and pretty soon was flying around the track. I tried to drive with Berkley, but was tired after just one lap. Braelyn did 3 whole laps and had a great time "winning the race" as she proudly yelled each time she came around. Berkley was just content to sit on the seat so I didn't have to wear myself out.

We finished by playing on the playground, then singing a few rock star songs on the stage, and each kid got to pick their own little pumpkin. And after a quick stop at McDonalds we were ready to head home. I'm so glad there are some adventurous moms here who get as bored at home as I do and are willing to try something new. It was a great day!

Soccer mom haircut will not follow.

We added an addition to our family. No I am not pregnant, and to those who know the circumstances of my children, this addition was actually planned and probably better thought out. We got a MINIVAN! I have dreamed of a minivan ever since I had my second child, at which point I was still driving the same car I had in high school (which I still love, and even now hate seeing Kevin drive off in). But I could just imagine how great automatic locks and windows would be. Not having to leave one kid in the parking lot while I buckle the other one in, not having to lean over a back seat to unlock the door, or having to pull over to roll up the window Braelyn unrolled with her foot in a snow storm. I thought it would be wonderful if I could actually fit a stroller in my car, and maybe just maybe, I could drive friends with me when we went somewhere. After begging and cajoling, and more importantly when our other car started shaking, rattling and close to needing a new transmission Kevin agreed we could look again. We went to every dealer from here to South Carolina and spent many afternoons test driving and debating what to choose. I wanted a Chrysler Town & Country because it came with so many bells and whistles and the dealer explained to us that a Dodge was the same thing, you just paid less because of the name, so we decided on a Caravan. They only had a fiery red one at the lot so we nicknamed her "Lola", but I have gotten used to the color and it is very easy to spot in the parking lot. Braelyn's only concern was that there was a TV, and both of the girls love watching movies as we drive. They are both so quiet now in the car, and I don't spend all my time craning to turn around and stop the yelling or handing out snacks and scooping up toys. Braelyn can get in and out all by herself with a push of a button, and every time Berkley sees it open she yells, "Door!" I have hidden storage for all the "stuff" so it always looks clean! I vacuum it out twice a week, and we have washed her after every rainstorm. As we drove off the lot Kevin said, "I never thought I would be the guy driving the van." I replied, "Then move over and let me drive." No I haven't signed Braelyn up for soccer, and I don't wear jeans that go past my belly button but I definitely love driving the Mommy Mobile.

Spooky...

I've never liked Halloween. Having to figure out what to wear, shoveling goop out of a pumpkin, traipsing around the neighborhood begging for a sucker and having someone tell you that you have to do a trick before they will hand it over. And now that I have kids I spend days creating costumes that they scream and cry as soon as you put them in, I always make Kevin dress up and he hates it, and my girls are scared of it all and won't let go of my leg long enough to get the treat. But the kids love it, so as a Mom, you just do it, and try to smile. Braelyn chose to be a witch and I already had the dress but I had no idea how hard it would be to find a witch hat for a child. We went to every store in town and finally settled on an adult hat, but she couldn't see when she had it on and only wore it for a few minutes. Berkley was going to wear a poodle costume Braelyn had used before. She looked adorable in it, but in Utah where we usually have snow on Halloween it was perfect. Here in Georgia it was 80 degrees and my poor poodle was almost a puddle so she didn't wear her costume long either. We started the fun at our ward Trunk-or-Treat. I decided at the last minute to dress up and chose to be a Gold Digger. I found some shiny gold pants, spray painted a shovel and some rocks gold, and covered my face and hair with gold sparkles. Kevin had to stay late a school so I dressed up a puppet as my old "Sugar Daddy." He had money coming out everywhere, and was completes with oxygen tank, pills and black socks with sandals. When I got to the church I saw that the adults in this ward don't really dress up and I was pretty embarrassed at first, but once we got into the fun of everything I got over it. Braelyn ran around with friends the whole night and did the cake walk about 30 times. I finally told her she had to eat a hot dog before she could eat another cupcake. When I told her it was time to go get candy from everyone she became very concerned and asked why we had to take people's candy from them? I didn't really have an answer, I guess it is a strange tradition.

The next morning we had a Halloween party for Braelyn and her playgroup. We started by decorating haunted houses. I am now a pro at making Rice-krispies and could probably mold any shape you need since I made so many. The girls seemed to love this and spent a lot of time making sure theirs looked just right and we lured the boys inside with sprinkles and frosting but they were much more interested in eating the candy. We did a little treasure hunt next, and I was thankful to my little helper Mollie, who helped the little ones follow all the clues. After that we let the kids play and got lunch out. Braelyn and I had decided on some spooky treats so we had made goblin face sandwiches, mummies in a blanket, monster finger string cheese, and dried fruit googly eyes. The kids gobbled it up and I had a blast just talking with the Moms. Kevin was home so we made him supervise outside, and he was absolutely worn out after. I don't think he has ever been around so many kids (who had eaten so much candy!) The best part of lunch was when we pulled out the Dirt Cups, pudding with crumbled cookies on top to look like dirt with a worm wiggling out. Most of the kids were seriously grossed out, and wouldn't touch it until we had explained what it was. Brandon just kept saying, "No, dirty. No." It was a fun time and we were so excited everybody took the time to come over and play with us.

The next day we got to go to a costume parade in Brooklet with Teresa and Brandon. The kid's from the elementary dress up as their favortie storybook characters. Braelyn loved watching the kid's and seeing many of her favorite stories. Berkley spent her time trying to steal a lady's Coke, and then freaked out when the Little Ceasar's mascot tried to get too close! We went and played at their house after and had a great time spending the morning with them.


Halloween day our neighbors invited us to the Halloween festival that there church out on. They explained it was based around families, you got free food and they had about 1,200 people come the year before. I didn't get an address from them so I just looked it up in the paper online. I knew it would be too hot for Berkley's costume and thanks to some quick thinking from my mom we got both girls dressed up in their cheerleaders outfits and loaded up. The GPS couldn't find the actual address, and we ended up clear out of town and on a dirt road, finally found this teeny church with a few people out front all in dresses and braids, no costumes, and not the place our neighbors had invited us too. Kevin knew about the church and knew they were quite fanatical about their beliefs so we just flipped around and got out of there quick. I was disappointed and felt like I had messed up the night, but Kevin is always good at coming up with a Plan B and got on the phone with a friend who invited us over to their neighborhood for Trick-or-Treating. We saw a city festival on the way and Braelyn got to get a little candy and she got to jump around in a bounce house, which she said was her favorite part of the night. After we loaded into the car again, Braelyn asked, "Is this what Halloween is? We just drive in the van and say Trick-or-Treat?" Luckily when we got to their neighborhood she was able to do some traditional door to door treating, and really got into getting the candy and having people tell her how cute she was! The had a gorgeous neighborhood with big decorated houses, and after we were done we stopped in at their house to go over the kid's stashes. I am again so grateful for great friends down here who are more than willing to take us in and help in anyway. We got home late and the girls ended up having a great night, and when it was done, even I was smiling too!