Gray and more gray
Don't you remember this beautiful blond, golden tanned little beach baby?We are ready for you to come out again. Even though we have had plenty of wintertime fun, the lack of color leaves me feeling quite uninspired to sit down and write about it and more like doing this:
I even thought of going to a tanning salon and asking if I could just sit in the room while someone bakes their insides, just so I could have a little light from my seat. But last week during the one hour I actually spent with my husband we talked about our little place in this world. It is easy to worry about how little money we have, how much more school he has, or how small and meaningless both of our jobs can seem from day-to-day, but we decided that if we died tomorrow we would absolutely not look back and say we were missing ANYTHING of true value in our lives right now. Though those things are important, you can't take any of those things with you when you go but the things we have now are absolutely the greatest things we will ever have because this is how we started this season.True happiness is:
-Opening the door and having these 2 there, knowing that even 4,000 miles isn't too much to ask of them
-The giddiness I felt knowing that she would be here soon after because a sister in your life is one of a kind
-Having someone to listen to every story and marvel over every move your kids make with the same adoration and unabashed enjoyment that you do, and then take over the not so fun stuff like potty breaks and bedtime for you
-Princesses, who don't mind that their dress is from a garage sale, their castle is a 3 bedroom rental, their carriage is a minivan. In our world they are truly royalty!
-A Thanksgiving dinner cooked in my own kitchen with my Mom. Kind of a right of passage, modern day girl growing up kind of thing. Very cool. And lots of GRAVY!
-Chocolate and Berkley. The only thing that can get her binky out of her mouth
-A daddy to keep you warm and safe when it is cold outside
-Finding someone who shares my name who might even be more moody and temperamental than I am. At least I never actually bit someone who bugged me.
-Someone to keep you safe on the couch. Braelyn spent many hours including sleeping on this couch with Taryn. And even when she got sick to her stomach one night, she still had an aunt to look out for her
There were so may more things like late-night talks, trips to McDonalds, having Dad take the girls to look at toys so we could grocery shop in peace, jumping on the trampoline, crazy Waffle House waitresses, Dad telling me I look skinny (he is the only one who sounds believable), having Mom reassure me I am not crazy/and or not going to ruin my kids for life from the bad mommy mistakes I make, antique shopping, having someone to talk to while I put up my Christmas tree, bouncing on the air mattress, hearing the girls Oohh and ahh at the Christmas lights, hearing Dad Oohh and ahh at the Toyota Factory, playing dress-ups, eating food I didn't have to cook, sleeping in while someone else gets up with my little early birds, and lots of kisses and hugs and even more good stories here: http://robertsrap.blogspot.com/2010/11/3364-miles.html
(Someone should show me how to properly place a link...)
The good-byes are still hard, and there seem to be more tears at each one, but it is wonderful to know that there will be another hello again. Our adventures over the past 2 years have been priceless, we are learning and growing in ways we never could have guessed, but I am always grateful for the feeling that comes from being with family. It makes me feel a little more grounded, a little more secure and makes the world seem a little bit smaller and a little less uncertain. Gray skies may be all around but I am sure the sun will visit again, but in the meantime I don't think it matters cause it's pretty bright from where I am sitting.
